Thursday, March 10, 2005

The Gay Activist Meets Suburbia, Part Deux

***continued from yesterday

Saturday morning saw us awake bright and early again. Damn offspring! Don't they know that they can sleep in on Saturdays? Patrick had wised up and not answered their knocking at the door, but they entered anyway (punishment time!) and whispered above his mock-sleeping form. "He's still sleeping. Lets' go wake up Mommy."

We then went to my daughter's soccer game, where Patrick spent all of his time checking out the hot soccer dads.

That afternoon we attended CB's little girl's third birthday party, where Patrick spent all of his time checking out the hot military dads.

Actually, it was quite surreal to introduce Patrick and CB. They're from two parts of my life that were never supposed to intermingle. But they liked each other. And they embarrassed me by both talking about how great I am. Pshaw. You guys!

And by the way, it was incredibly cute to see Patrick in that environment. He really is very good with kids. Even if he was drooling over my one particularly hot neighbor.

After loading the kids up with as much sugar as humanly possible, we returned home to deal with the fallout. We decided that the kids needed at least a little bit of real food before going to bed. And this is when Patrick discovered just what a truly bad mother I am.

Between the spoiled eggs, lack of milk, and my children behaving worse then they ever have in their entire lives, I have no idea how Patrick made it through the evening without killing one of us.

We tried to make it up to him by taking him to brunch on Sunday. We saw more "family" there then I ever have at one place in this city. And when I took the kids to the restroom, strangers took the opportunity to compliment him on how well-behaved his children were.

Later Patrick made the kids grilled PB&J on tortillas with bananas and then we took off for a minor league hockey game. We had fun and the kids absolutely loved being there with Patrick. They also loved the sno cones, cotton candy and M&Ms. See, my mother-of-the-year award should arrive anytime. And it will be sticky with syrup when it gets here.

Sunday night was cooking lesson for Tuna night. And yes, if you haven't already heard, Patrick made me bacon-wrapped beef tenderloin with herb stuffing. How wonderful is he? I still have half of it in my fridge.

We got to talk to a drunk Rick while we worked. (Okay, while Patrick worked and I watched in awe.) That was fun!

And by the way, Patrick may have made fun of my "choppy choppy thing" and my "slicey slicey thing", but he wasn't opposed to using them when cutting the onions by hand got to be too much for him.

On Monday morning, my daughter begged Patrick to come into school with her for a few minutes. As soon as we walked in the door, her teacher called out, "You must be Patrick!" I guess my little girl had been talking about someone she loves, huh?

We then headed home to complete the most important task of his visit. Does anyone remember the dead bird in my attic? Yes. It was still there. Yes, it has been months since I found it.

Patrick was kind enough to remove it for me and take it out to the trash. My hero! Except that the trash guys must have noticed our dead little friend and left her and her box behind. And then we had a wind storm, and last I saw, some kids were playing in the box behind my house. I certainly hope some animal took off with the bird before the kids decided to make the box their play house.

All in all, it was a wonderful visit. We also were able to talk to a few bloggers including MAK, Ryan, and of course a drunk Rick. All of whom are sweet men with sexy voices. And also Pua, who is a sexy woman with a sweet voice.

I couldn't possibly explain to Patrick how much I appreciate him, so I won't even try. But next time I see him, I'm leaving the kids at home and he's taking me on some rollercoasters. That couldn't be half as terrifying for me as dealing with my kids and my world was for him.

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