Monday, May 03, 2004

Parlez Vous La Porn?

Sometimes my daughter amazes me. On the way home from school today she was singing a song in French. She has French class at school twice a week for fifteen minutes. Her French vocabulary already far surpasses mine, and I took three years of Honors high school French, and an entire year of college French.

I only remember two things about college French. I remember our insane little teacher (I think she was from Venezuela) yelling "Vite! Vite!" and snapping her fingers at us to answer more quickly. And I remember playing 20 questions.

I had a couple of friends in that class. One was named Becky, and she was a character. She was very smart and funny. One day we were playing twenty questions in class and Becky was the one who supplied the subject. We asked her question after question and all we could figure out was that it was a movie. When it was finally time for her to reveal the answer, she said, "I can't believe you guys didn't get this. It's Edward Penis Hands."

Nobody said anything at first. I'm not sure how much attention they were paying. But I was staring at her with my mouth open. Then I said in a drawn out voice, "What did you just say?"

"I said Edward Scissor Hands," Becky replied.

"Ah. No you didn't." I said back.

Her face turned red. She leaned over and whispered to me, "Did I just say Penis Hands?"

That's when the teacher let out a huge guffaw and started laughing uncontrollably.

Becky tried to make some excuse about friends who rented a porn movie as a joke, blah, blah, blah. But I don't think we ever let her live it down.

Of course it was Becky who figured out that the video I had in my room marked The Outsiders wasn't really The Outsiders at all. So she got me back. Of course, I think I still have the video of her stripping down to her skivvy's at a party, not that it was a pretty sight.

Ah. College. There's a time and place for everything, and it's called college.

J'adore vous! Or something like that.

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