Friday, November 12, 2004

Any Last Words!

The Gay TunaPet is traumatized. Last night, TunaPet took the tuna kids into the living room to play a game of Pretty Pretty Princess, while TunaGirl took TunaHubby to the bedroom to do whatever it is that she does that makes him squeel like a pig. I'd like to say I could tell you, but the video recorder didn't record clearly.

I will say the noises were loud enough that I'm surprised the children aren't traumatized. broadway recording of Cats was loud enough to drown them out...but those noises (which oddly sounded like the sound of screaming into a pillow) will haunt my sleep for at least a few weeks.

This morning, I asked the Big Fish how she felt before the operation today. "I can't talk very jaw is really sore", was her answer as she flashed a glance at TunaHubby. Not to worry TunaGirl...He's going to be in some good "hands" with TunaPet!

The Pop Life!

Seeing that Tuna is now singing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", while the doctors realign her jaw (TunaHubby...I'm impressed), I figure I'll tell you a true story about her fishy majesty!

A few months ago, during a phone conversation, we were discussing my favorite activity. No...not shopping, cooking, or any of the sports we both like to play, but sex. Did you know Tuna is a top? Ok...that's a stretch...but she asked me very timidly..."What are poppers?"

Ahh, young, so getting an education in New York City! As I look at her blogroll list, I realize that the majority of you already know what they are and in the case of Zeitzeuge, even advocate using them. For the two of you who don't know what poppers are:

This is a group of quick-acting drugs (alkyl nitrites), of which amyl nitrite, butyl nitrite and isobutyl nitrite are the most widely available. Poppers evaporate at room temperature and are inhaled through the nose and mouth. They're stimulants, but the "rush" lasts minutes, hence the name "poppers".

Poppers comes in small bottles of clear gold-coloured liquid. It is inhaled from the bottle or from a cloth soaked in it. The effects are instantaneous, but last only 2-3 minutes. Effects include:

  • A burst of energy and a rushing sensation, because blood vessels open and the heart beats faster, sending the blood rushing to the brain.

  • A feeling of light-headedness and dizziness may occur after the initial rush because the blood pressure is reduced.

  • The muscles relax, people lose their inhibitions and may giggle uncontrollably.

But really, the only way you are going to know what Poppers are Mrs. T, is if you have a bottle of them to take home to TunaHubby. So in honor of meeting you in person for the first time in NYC, I, Patrick of the Traveling Spotlight (shameless plug), have bought you a bottle of Cleveland's finest poppers. You can take them home with you and use them with the TunaHubby. You'll make a bottom out of him yet.

Now I will say...TunaGirl knows that I have bought this for her, but she has insisted that she will not take them back on the plane with her when she leaves NYC. So I need your assistance in persuading her that she should take her poppers home. Every popper needs a good home to live in.

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