A few rules for the Tuna Family in regards to caring for your new TunaPet:
- Although I am gay...I can not perform all the duties of the TunaGirl. I'm just not equipped that way. That being said...I can teach you a few things...like cooking the perfect Creme Brulee, or how to coordinate your shower curtain with your bedding!
- Sometimes when the TunaPet is crawling on his hands and knees, it's only to look for the contact lens he dropped
- If we're sleeping in bunk beds, the TunaPet can sleep in either bunk...you decide
- TunaPet loves cuddling while watching Brad Pitt movies. This is a good way to get your TunaPet to purr.
- TunaPet would love to play "Pretty Pretty Princess" with you, but remember that TunaPet is ALWAYS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL! You may be a little princess, but I'm a queen! I outrank you.
- "I'd love to play a game sweetie. Let's play Cinderella! You be Cinderella and I'll be the Wicked Step-Mother! Here's a mop...go clean!"
- TunaPet can teach you a lot of important lessons if you let him. Such as "Make him come to you!" and "dumb and rich = good boyfriend!"
- The reason I have never had kids? Diapers. I have no idea how to change one, so we are just going to let you run without one. Don't make on the floor!
- TunaPet would love to teach you a few show tunes. We'll start with the original Broadway Cast of Gypsy and work from there
- Pay attention: Gray Goose Orange Vodka, Cointreau, cranberry, dash of lime juice. This is what you feed TunaPet!
- I insist you play "Pretty Pretty Princess" with me.
If the Tuna family follows these rules, you can expect to have a very successful relationship with the TunaPet.