Monday, December 27, 2004

Mystery Guest Blogger

Gay Tuna Pet here. Tuna is still donning on her gay apparal, so we have another mystery guest blogger.

This guest blogger is shooting for the stars with this post:
Really, though, what is so special about tuna?

It's the chicken of the sea. Well that says it right there if you ask me. It comes in a can. I'm sure it's been processed beyond recognition. You can get it with oil or with spring water. It's cheap. A dime a dozen, as they say.

And I have never used "tuna" as a euphenism for a lady's nether regions. Fish, yes. Carp, maybe. But Tuna? Not so much.

Tuna makes a right tasty sandwich. With bread. And lots of mayo, lettuce and more mayo.

Tuna can also liven up a casserole like nobody's business. With lots of vinegar, mayo and lettuce. And peas. And pasta.

It used to be that there was only one kind of tuna. Now there's chunk light, Albacore, Ahi, tuna in pouches, tuna in snacky-size cans, and tuna in your frozen food section. Tuna has multitasked. Tuna has become fruitful and multiplied.

My favorite is the slightly less cheap Albacore tuna. (Ever notice how Albacore rhymes somewhat with the name of the guy that lost against Bush [another euphenism for a lady's nether region] the first time?)

And if you like to spend lots of money, there's that Ahi stuff that you eat raw, or nearly raw. That's expensive as all hell. Nothing like paying top dollar for the chance at catching Salmon-ella (a much better fish if you ask me) or E Coli (which might be related to Walleye. Go look it up. I have no idea.)

Some people are addicted to tuna. They eat tuna for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I call those people sick. But they seem to enjoy it. To each their own.

So what, then is so special about tuna?

Well, I haven't a clue, but I do know this. The girl named Tuna is pretty darn cool. And I miss her when she's gone. So hurry back, Tuna Girl. Fly like a Bumble Bee and get your Star-Kist butt back home so we can Chicken of the Sea what you have to tell us next.

God that was lame. No wonder I've never guest blogged before.



Who is this guest blogger?

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