Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Sex Talk

The other night, my husband and I were watching A Man Apart in bed. I told him that he looks a lot like Vin Diesel.

He really does, actually. He has the same shaped head, the same facial structure, the same lips. My guy's nose is smaller, though. And his smile is completely different. And he's only 5'8".

My husband was skeptical, at best. "You don't gasp when I take my shirt off," he told me.

Okay. He's never ever going to let me live that down. We saw XXX in the theater. There is one scene in the movie where ole Vin gets out of bed to answer the phone and he's near-naked. And I let out a very audible gasp.

Well, can you blame me? There's something about that place on a man's body between his naval and his goods that is so enticing (almost as much as the nape of the neck). And Vin has a great one.

Have you ever played that game with your mate where you list the five celebrities that you'd be allowed to sleep with?

For the record, even if Brad Pitt was performing my own personal striptease AND his name was on my list, I'd still send him back to his wife. Yes. I love my guy that much.

But I'd have to say that, hypothetically, if I ever had a list like that, Vin would be at the top of it. Can you imagine how rough yet gentle he could be in bed? And that voice! Mmmmm. I better move along.

Wanna know who else would be on the list?

We were watching television on Monday night and talking about varying degrees of hotness. And I asked my husband, "Do you know who I would do in a heartbeat?"

He's been a little jealous lately thanks to someone leaving messages about blow jobs on my cell phone, so he gave me one of his furrowed brow, military officer looks.

I ignored it and told him, "Emily Procter. Don't you think she's hot?"

"She's fucking hot," was his reply.

Yes, I'd totally switch teams for Ms. Procter. I have no idea what that woman is like in real life, but her character on CSI:Miami is the perfect combination of hot, smart, sexy, loyal. I could go on and on.

It's amazing how quickly I can make my husband's brow unfurrow.

As for the three other spots on my list...I'm currently taking applications. Do hockey players count as celebrities?

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