Sunday, February 27, 2005

I knew there was a reason why I married him.

I talked on the phone to my husband for about twenty minutes last night.

It's funny how just sharing things with him can make me feel so much better.

I completely forgot to yell at him about the two things he's done to piss me off. I got started talking about the new softball bat and t-ball supplies I bought and I never even thought to mention it.

Somehow our conversation turned to all of the things I alluded to yesterday. I started talking about CB, and my parents, and AH and I just kept going on and on.

He didn't say anything profound. He didn't say anything that my good friends haven't already said to me.

But somehow I feel lighter now.

I guess I feel like I have someone to haul half the burden.

But blogging about things helps too. I know that. Princessmax wrote a wonderful comment yesterday that I think says how I feel in a way I could never express.

"Tuna Girl, I have been admiring your blog friends and how well and unanimously they respond when you need them. Cute kids, pissy day, doesn't matter: they're there with a comment and,consistently, some sort of raunchy sexual suggestion. You couldn't be better buttressed if you were a cathedral in Europe somewhere."

She's absolutely right.

And, man, but she's only seen a half of it. Because she's not privy to the e-mail and phone calls.

When I started blogging, I never intended for the people in my real life to read my blog. And then, somehow, along the way, the people in my blog world became the people in my real life. And that changed my blogging. Not for the better or worse.

But it also changed my life. For the better. For the much, much better.

Hell, in less than a week, a blogger who has become one of my best friends is coming to visit. Just because he knows that I need him.

And let's think about that for a minute. Let's think about what kind of husband I have that he E-mailed Patrick to invite him to come stay with me. Just because he knows that I need him.

All of this: the amazing husband, the amazing friends, the amazing experience of blogging has made just one point very crystal clear to me.

In May this will all be over. My husband will come home and my blog and my blog friends will endure. The kids can chalk the experience up to a life lesson in how their Daddy can love them no matter where he is.

And I've gained from the experience the soul deep knowledge that there are people who love me. A lot. And they're not afraid to let me know it.

Other people, going through other trials will not have it come to such a neat and satisfying end.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I am lucky. You might even say I am blessed, if you believe in such things. But most importently, I am loved.

I am very, very loved.

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